Ep 02: Your Financial Origin Story

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Hi welcome to the authentically you show, this is a show we're always interviewing authentic people doing amazing authentic things and I'm really excited today to have with US Martha Adams. Martha has dedicated her career to helping her clients plan and she their financial goals throughout this journey.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: She discovered a common thing that she was determined to change the negativity around financial conversations the discussion around money and finances has traditionally been met with confusion uncertainty and overall disconnect Martha's passion for passion for changing the conversation around money and finances has been the focus of her life work Martha welcome to the show.

Martha Adams: Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.

Martha Adams: What time zone are we working? 

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So many times and it doesn't even matter.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I'm just living in all of them.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: Like I Was gonna.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: This morning.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You're in Canada are you in Canada, right now.I mean it's totally okay, good morning, good afternoon. You know, I've been up since four thirty AM.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So.

Martha Adams: You actually [laughter].

Martha Adams: See.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: See we're working women I mean this is just how it goes.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So well I'm so glad to have you on the show, because we're talking about something that is such a hot topic and um we'll talk about your book and this but your book was a real regulation for me it was definitely I feel like it was like financial therapy for me, because I was reading it and having like moments of like oh my God.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Okay.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Now I get it um so I'm really excited to dive into this, but before we get too far into your book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I wanna talk about how did you get into not only the financial industry, but. Emotions. And finance. And EQ. Because that's very different than a typical conversation, especially from someone like me who's talked business at the college we never talked about eq or emotional intelligence or anything when it came to finances. So I love to hear and I know our listeners would like to know how you got into it.

Martha Adams: Well I was really fortunate to uh you know, I've grown up in a situation whether it was in in my household or in my community where I simply didn't fit in and ultimately that became my asset, because I created it as right within myself, a where you know in a lot of ways that was the black sheep.

Martha Adams: And a for me that showed me as a the power of our e q.

Martha Adams: Right, a who was making ultimately the the decisions and so um that's that's really where focusing on the e q came from.

Martha Adams: So you know, in in the community that I grew up in I was really different.

Martha Adams: Um in that I grew up in a small town that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Was you.

Martha Adams: Know, materially wealthy it was actually one of the most a wealthy a neighborhoods in Canada as a whole actually when I was growing up and so here I was a this you're small immigrant family coming in a to the city with a starter home and so I didn't have the material wealth of.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Everyone around.

Martha Adams: Me.

Martha Adams: So that my experience is really different, add to that uh that personal itty wise.

Martha Adams: I was also very different than my cultural community and as a result.

Martha Adams: My house, my household as well.

Martha Adams: And so you know, those all became assets for me, because I felt about them and this is where a you know, I connected with an idea a.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Of the way.

Martha Adams: You I could emotionally eyes my experiences the positive and not for me change the game.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: To.

Martha Adams: So that's why I then uh you know, went into the financial industry looking to make a difference and ultimately changed.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: The game I love that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And and I love that you're very open about saying that you didn't fit in I don't know how many of US I I felt the exact same way I always felt like I stuck out and and I definitely got bullied and you know kids are mean and the good part of it is it really helps?

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Shape me like you to move into a direction of an area of need which I love.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um and especially for women and finances I know you and I've had this conversation.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Many times outside of this about um woman and finances and the negativity and the lack of education and even community and culture expectations.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um you know, God bless my mother.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: She used to say things she's just very traditional like well honey you know, you're not good with money.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So you don't wanna be an accountant, you know, and so right away I would think like oh you're you're.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right I I need to stay away from money and so it was something that was really a negative as I.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Read your book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I'm like well I.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Do have negative emotions attached.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Two different things.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Like that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And which brings me to your book here, which okay.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I'm gonna I'm gonna hold here it's hard for me to see, but here we go where we wait there we go.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Okay.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: First everyone is.

Martha Adams: She just not like George's.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: In this she looks like Cleopatra and she's this gorgeous in person too.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So uh this book that came out, which I feel is.

Martha Adams: Such an.

Martha Adams: Inspiring.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And just changing the game for for how we look at this I wanna talk about this and what you have in it and of course.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Okay, hold on I've.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Got it here too.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Got things stuff everywhere.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Alright.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Here's the book club.

Martha Adams: Book  you're a magician, right now.

Martha Adams: I mean I'm pulling things.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Out of everywhere.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You can't see it, but I'm feeling about.

Martha Adams: [laughter] uh so you.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Have the book and you have the book club, it's called clear patches riches what can you give US a little bit story about the Cleopatra part, because I know people going Cleopatra, which is like what does that?

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And you look you look just like Cleopatra by the way I swear.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: She could be your sister uh so a little bit about clear patches riches and we'll dive into some different subjects in that.

Martha Adams: Tell US.

Martha Adams: So the name Cleopatra a it came to be because uh you know, I shared with you, that when I was growing up in.

Martha Adams: So many ways I thought that I didn't fit in and and so I held on to what a you know, I associated to the positive and one of those things was that when I was growing up my mom would always tell me that I was a direct descendant of Cleopatra and I felt so special and I held on to that, because you know where I was uh this this young girl that looks different from everyone around her and certainly felt different and yet.

Martha Adams: I had the richness of you know ensure Egypt that ran through me and and that connection to Cleopatra or something that I held really close and um well Julie until I grew up and then learned that every other.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Injection mother.

Martha Adams: Tells their daughter that she's a direct descendant of Cleopatra and so I, can remember the day where you know, I found that out and I mean talk about a bubble being birth.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: [laughter] and.

Martha Adams: [laughter] and then this is where again I'm authorizing to the positive really came into play for me, because I recognized that I could decide what that means that richness that riches and richness is something truly internal to US and uh so is our money story and so that's why it's Cleopatra connected.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Switches.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You know to.

Martha Adams: Our stories.

Martha Adams: And the richness of that all the way to our origin story.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Well I love that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And I think you are related to Cleopatra I mean there's just there's too much.

Martha Adams: Of a striking.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Resemblance.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So we're gonna we're gonna go with that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So you mentioned origins, and one of my questions was from your book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: How do your origin and upbringing affect your finances ?

Martha Adams: In.

Martha Adams: So many ways they do because this is these are routes and these are you know the stories that in so many ways we default to these are experiences that we default.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: To.

Martha Adams: Without necessarily recognizing that we are so what do I mean by that.

Martha Adams: Well you're sharing something Julie about your upbringing and you know, one of the things that your mom would say and those messages end up becoming repeated in our minds, even when we you know, so just think about our money story.

Martha Adams: We so often will default.

Martha Adams: Right to our household because it's that influential it's that concentrated of an influence and the key thing there is that the messaging that we experienced growing up in our households didn't just show up overnight it showed.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Up overtime.

Martha Adams: And that is from the richness of our origin story.

Martha Adams: So so it's a feast and family are you know, woven through out.

Martha Adams: The messages that we received and so you know, we could experience something that our parents would say right I had a friend of mine I'll.

Martha Adams: Give you an example had a friend of mine who uh you know in her origin story it was the Irish Teo famine and even though that was generations before US, right.

Martha Adams: She uh because of the story she was told that fear of black and scarcity was so real in the present Thames.

Martha Adams: And we carry that with US and we make decisions based on it we you know.

Martha Adams: So it if that's the way we feel what we believe, and ultimately into our results.

Martha Adams: So it is one of the greatest opportunities we have when it comes.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: To connecting with our own.

Martha Adams: Money story.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And you know, it's it's interesting, you mentioned the potato family.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: My my grandfather always mention the depression and he would absolutely be like don't, trust the bank's like put your money in again, you know, buried in the ground as long as I can remember he preached about the depression right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And that was my father, which of course would was my mother's dad which my mother definitely reflected that which which I learned about it and I still remember that and I definitely do those things I.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Absolutely the economy looks like it's gonna take I am like booking up food I'm like stock in the pantry and it seems so funny you always have this joke.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Like I'm always like Apocalypse ready.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um but if you look back on it my grandfather which he was doing it out of his heart because he had lived through the depression horrible it was.

Martha Adams: He.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Wanted to make sure that our future generations which is prepared if something like that happened and so I really relate to that, because as I was going through your book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I really started going back on my origin stories why do I behave the way I.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Do in these financial situations and it was really helpful and and another part that really spoke to me was how does community affect your finances.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um when I was going into business I was very much told woman don't do business I was told I should include teacher, nothing wrong with an English teacher, but you don't want me to be your English teacher [laughter].

Martha Adams: So.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Community really affected for quite a while I thought it and I did end up going down the path eventually I wanted to.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: But I really was affected by a community projected, what my Krier should be and so when I saw you have this in your book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: How does committee affect your finances I really thought that was important to talk about because it feels like this is such a powerful thing as well?

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Besides just your .

Martha Adams: It's.

Martha Adams: So true.

Martha Adams: I mean each of the layers of influence we have in our money story and uh we've talked about now into the the second one.

Martha Adams: They each impact the way we earn grow and enjoy money in our lives and community does that all I mean community is where we first start to experience comparison I mean we certainly can experience it in our household, but now we're experiencing it on a bigger scale, right.

Martha Adams: So we're compared in our classroom and uh when it comes to the way we earn money.

Martha Adams: We can you do be encouraged or perhaps push depend on how you wanna look at it a into what is a practical career choice and that's something that you were highlighting there.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Julie in your experience.

Martha Adams: And you know, I certainly experienced that as well.

Martha Adams: A knowing that I wanted to go into business and in gray ten when I was you know, a able to select my um uh you know the specific courses that I wanted to take a my electives.

Martha Adams: And and I was choosing anything and everything related to business because that was my spark and I practiced that spark it increased my confidence and now I had my magic formula right where I could then uh have my value proposition where I would make.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: A difference in the world.

Martha Adams: And I remember getting called into my guidance counselors office in the most intimidating of fashion and so you know here I am um and from a teacher perspective I was a you know what would be categorized as a good kit.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: Did my homework  right.

Martha Adams: Uh and so here I was being called on the I'm pointing 'cause I.

Martha Adams: Can still see where I was sitting and.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Where the?

Martha Adams: Insured call was and I'm being called to the guide is canceling this office and by name, right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: To go.

Martha Adams:  it specifically.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: My class and I.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Remember.

Martha Adams: All my classmates going.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: That who's.

Martha Adams: [laughter]  [laughter], right.

Martha Adams: So the whole thing was really intimidating and and this is one of the things that community can do a really talking starting to talk about where we fit into the world.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: And then you know on how we grow.

Martha Adams: So how we're interacting with our finances community is a really big part of that, because you know we kind of have this cycle uh where your parents feel the school should be teaching it schools feel that the parents should be teaching it and and then it's this kind of vicious cycle where we're not really engaging with our finances we're certainly not talk to we haven't had that experience right.

Martha Adams: And then.

Martha Adams: All we see is spending yeah.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: [laughter].

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So.

Martha Adams: [laughter] that's.

Martha Adams: So community while we don't necessarily think about it.

Martha Adams: Right away.

Martha Adams: We'll think much more of our household community has a very powerful influence.

Martha Adams: Unless yeah.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I fully agree with you I mean everything from billboards to TV to commercials.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um I I used to teach a marketing class and I would tell the students on your way home I want you to count every single advertisement you see on the way home and they would always come back with this staggering number and they say I never noticed it before I said well you didn't consciously notice it, but as you drove all of those marketing were being your mind was catching them.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Your mind can C X amount of things at a time and it was in bedding into your mind.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: We talked a lot about this with woman and how they look and how are you.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Especially are young young woman are really kind of groomed to think that they have to look a certain way be a certain way because that's what they see on TV and so  I fully agree I as I mentioned I had several people tell me that you know, business was not for women and I would never be able to compete and I should go find my place where I'm supposed to be doing a job as a preschool teacher or something.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Once again, you do not want me to be your pre school teacher [laughter] would not be good.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So I I didn't it it's just interesting because community really does have a strong pool and I think we could apply this in.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So many different areas where we lack you know woman engineers or science or things like that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So we as we talk about all this you mentioned the motions and this is really the really big part of how our motions are tied to our finances.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um and oftentimes I talk about fear and how powerful fear is and how fear can literally stop people from doing some of the most simple things and so you know, I look at the motions in my emotions and how they're tied to it.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And so my family my father was always very even killed person.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um and he was never excited or fearful or anything like that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And so I'm very even Kiehl when it comes to dealing with these things, but my mother on the other hand was a real emotional lively person attached to these things as well.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So I find myself kind of float between and learned now when I went off to college I've, never had a checking account I've, never had checks I've, never been educated in credit cards or anything like that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I was just jumping into it getting my first bank account and so for me had a lot of hard lessons with money and understanding it and how to use it.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So I'd love to talk about this, especially things have changed.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So much over the last twenty years since you and I have been in school, you know, finances are so different have ten year olds making millions of dollars on you to the when you talk about emotions in our finances I know you you've teach and preached to this.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um you know, talk to US about those those emotions and finances.

Martha Adams: So.

Martha Adams: When I say emotion and finances a?

Martha Adams: Right away.

Martha Adams: You know, we can either draw a blank.

Martha Adams: Or immediately.

Martha Adams: Think of the.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Negative.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So.

Martha Adams: Think about things like stress worried.

Martha Adams: Si .

Martha Adams: The reason is that.

Martha Adams: Well we really haven't had the opportunity to connect and prioritize or honor the way we feel that's been formed overtime.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: So when we talk about finances.

Martha Adams: Well often here financial literacy, right.

Martha Adams: Um so that's the IQ is that important.

Martha Adams: Yes, of course.

Martha Adams: It is but we talk about that from this as the starting place.

Martha Adams: Where I feel differently where I believe we can have very different results?

Martha Adams: Is by starting to ask different questions and that is focusing on the human experience of money now we're actually talking about the way that you feel now what are gonna that's unique to use this is the financial conversation that speaks with you.

Martha Adams: Versus at you .

Martha Adams: Yeah.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: And you think about any event in your life.

Martha Adams: Of any size or level of significance.

Martha Adams: Money was there in some way shape or form money was there playing a role and along with that came your emotional associates when we start to see that you start to see you.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Well that's powerful and I I fully agree and and it's interesting because like you said finances never seem to have a positive ring to it unless you're making a lot of money [laughter].

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And then it feels great.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You know, you like I have so much money I love finances, right.

Martha Adams: Really true.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: That's that OK .

Martha Adams: So much love.

Martha Adams: Because in the in the work I, do.

Martha Adams: It really clearly shows that no matter the um like a human experience on money does not discriminate to .

Martha Adams: It really doesn't matter.

Martha Adams: I'll.

Martha Adams: Give you an example.

Martha Adams: There's someone I was working with and he uh very.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Successful.

Martha Adams: It came from a successful family, but build himself a from the ground up it kind of did a took a career choice that was not approved, right.

Martha Adams: More [laughter].

Martha Adams: So have you know a a family and sciences went into ours like oh?

Dr. Julie Ducharme: This is right.

Martha Adams: Definitely didn't have the the blessing of the  on it.

Martha Adams: So build himself.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: Let's.

Martha Adams: See here.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Was.

Martha Adams: So deep seated for him.

Martha Adams: Because at his father's voice was constantly in his ear, you could lose it.

Martha Adams: All overnight, you could lose it all overnight, you could lose it all overnight.

Martha Adams:  and so it impacted his decisions it impacted the growth of his business it impacted his marriage  it didn't matter what his asset level was it's.

Martha Adams: All relative .

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: The human experience is the human expiration.

Martha Adams: And so when we honor that it doesn't become about anything or anyone else  it becomes about you and where you wanna go.

Martha Adams: Oh.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: My gosh.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I feel like I'm in therapy, right now.

Martha Adams: This is so [laughter].

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I just I if I had just lay down and be like okay.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You're now gonna give me my financial therapy really really great point and great Miss busting, because you're right as you say that I'm like oh okay.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You're.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: That is true.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You know.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And so so powerful I wanna.

Martha Adams: Talk a little.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Bit about office.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You talk in the book about it you're talking a book about it the for our process can you fill US in on that.

Martha Adams: Absolutely.

Martha Adams: So when we look at the human experience of money.

Martha Adams: And we said earlier that there's messaging that we haven't had the opportunity to recognize you ultimately here yet it's playing over and over and we're seeing it in our decisions we're seeing it in our resolves.

Martha Adams: But we haven't necessarily had the opportunity to check to where it's coming from yet.

Martha Adams: So therefore it's something that's taking up space.

Martha Adams: How do we then?

Martha Adams: Get from where we are.

Martha Adams: To everyone I go.

Martha Adams: Gotta create space for it that's exactly what the for our process does it allows you to honor yourself in the money conversation and honor the way that you feel as your greatest access, you know is doing I was having a conversation.

Martha Adams: The other week and a someone said to me.

Martha Adams: Um you know of.

Martha Adams: Is really appreciating comment about themselves that they are um a very um all over the place when it when it comes to their finances that they're they're an emotional rec is the term they used and I said great that's your greatest access.

Martha Adams: And they said when they look at.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Me in there.

Martha Adams: Me being emotional rec is my greatest asset and I said yes.

Martha Adams: Because if I ignore that and most importantly, if they ignore that and what we're talking about is the IQ.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: And I'm talking at them saying this that and the other all these terms and all these you know, fax figures and strategies.

Martha Adams: Did the way they feel did it go away?

Martha Adams: No it's still there exactly it's still there.

Martha Adams: And so when you view it as a liability that's, all it will continue to be.

Martha Adams: , right.

Martha Adams: Because we we either ignore it suppress it end up in avoidance , right.

Martha Adams: Yeah, but when we honored as Hey this is my indicator.

Martha Adams: This is something that's uniquely, mine.

Martha Adams: So instead of me asking how which is what we're used to doing in finances, right.

Martha Adams: How do I get out of debt?

Martha Adams: How do I do this?

Martha Adams: How do I do that?

Martha Adams: And living out.

Martha Adams: Someone else's vision.

Martha Adams: I.

Martha Adams: Can now ask.

Martha Adams: Why that's?

Martha Adams: What the for our process dots it allows you to recognize?

Martha Adams: What it is right?

Martha Adams: That uh.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: That you're feeling.

Martha Adams: Which you know you gave me a perfect example earlier on your mom, right.

Martha Adams: .

Martha Adams: Now you can move to the second car which is to reconcile  reconcile where that messaging came from.

Martha Adams: What was your perspective?

Martha Adams: Now when you understand your perspective and you have empathy for yourself, you can now have empathy for the other characters in the story and start to see their perspective.

Martha Adams: Now.

Martha Adams: You've learned so much in this already.

Martha Adams: From the first two hours.

Martha Adams: The thing is that in a lot of ways we might be slightly used to that.

Martha Adams: And in one way or another.

Martha Adams: But when we're in the first two hours are we focused on the positive or the negative.

Martha Adams: Negative.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right, exactly.

Martha Adams: Exactly.

Martha Adams: And so it's far too often and by far too often I really.

Martha Adams: Do mean like ninety eight percent of the time that we're focused on those first two r's and so we're caught in this negative cycle still not getting anywhere.

Martha Adams: So this is where.

Martha Adams: We go to.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: The third.

Martha Adams: Bar of release.

Martha Adams: And we're.

Martha Adams: Not just releasing from anywhere releasing now.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: What.

Martha Adams: You have decided.

Martha Adams: No longer serves you 'cause you're seeing the way it's impacted.

Martha Adams: You in your life.

Martha Adams: And releasing what.

Martha Adams: No longer serves you.

Martha Adams: But the way you're doing it is what makes all the difference because.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Here you're focusing.

Martha Adams: On gratitude for.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: What you've?

Martha Adams: Learned  saying thank you.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And then I let you.

Martha Adams: Go right cause now you're taking your power back now you're owning your voice now here's the thing.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah.

Martha Adams: Do you think that just doing that is enough?

Martha Adams: Probably.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Not there's.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Gotta be one more step [laughter].

Martha Adams: You're.

Martha Adams: Right there's far  over.

Martha Adams: But [laughter].

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Feel it feel I felt that I I felt you pushing me you're like Julie there's one more step [laughter] there.

Martha Adams: Is because that messaging is that you discovered that you recognize.

Martha Adams: Was it formed overnight?

Martha Adams: Did you experience it over exactly?

Martha Adams: And so this is now our greatest opportunity to form a newer habit by repeating that new positive associated .

Martha Adams: So I'll give you an example that experience in my life, you know, we talked about how I really stood out.

Martha Adams: Growing up in fact, I was bullet growing up, right now the people that were billing me.

Martha Adams: We're really wealthy, right.

Martha Adams: They were materially wealthy.

Martha Adams: I.

Martha Adams: Could have very easy.

Martha Adams: Said that people with money.

Martha Adams: Are bad people because that was my emotional experience, right .

Martha Adams: But if I did that.

Martha Adams: Who would have had the control who was taking up space was I only MySpace?

Martha Adams: Or was someone else in control.

Martha Adams: Yeah.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Someone else.

Martha Adams: Exactly.

Martha Adams: They would have been in control.

Martha Adams: So this is where I look at.

Martha Adams: Emotionally zing to the positive I looked at myself to say.

Martha Adams: Well that made me really comfortable standing out.

Martha Adams: Right.

Martha Adams: That maybe really comfortable owning my Boyce and saying no this is who I am and this is who I am deciding to be and continue to grow into and so the result was that I was really comfortable standing up in an industry, where I was in no way I represented, right.

Martha Adams: As an independent.

Martha Adams: As a woman independent in the financial injury.

Martha Adams: So that meant that I did not have the name or financial backing of any company or group of companies.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah.

Martha Adams: That's the power of positive emotional associates you decide.

Martha Adams: Who you are where you?

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Are where you're going.

Martha Adams: Most importantly.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah.

Martha Adams: And so you know, the power of positive repetition.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: It's.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So powerful and and it's really interesting that you say owning your power, because I have a chapter in a book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Called owning your own power and uh you make some excellent points because we probably all been guilty of leading those negative emotions in like you talked about your experience in our experiences hinder US from where we want to go on what we want to do, because it's taking up.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So much.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Negative space in our lives.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So you know, I think there's something in for those you were listening or watching you know, just that example that Martha is giving you can practice you know, you can start moving forward it with that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So and we're starting to run out time, but I wanted to make sure first are there anything happening with you that you want our Lister to know about where you're speaking what you're doing.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um things on the website they should go to I wanna make sure I know Josh has things running across the bottom.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Your book and your website.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: But anything that they should know about coming up.

Martha Adams: Yes.

Martha Adams: So one of the things that I'm really excited about is a the opportunity to work one on one a for free with someone a through the show that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Do so I am.

Martha Adams: A financial specialist on a show called city line, it's daytime television it's.

Martha Adams: Uh the longest running a daytime show in North America actually and so it's a it's an amazing amazing program made by women for women and uh if you write in then uh and share a little bit of your money story and why you would love to uh the opportunity to have a conversation together.

Martha Adams: A.

Martha Adams: We would be it would be you and I on camera a working together and then uh you would be of course I'm completely invested in you, you would have that one on one help and at the same time showing strength in your vulnerability.

Martha Adams: You'd be helping.

Martha Adams: So many other women as well.

Martha Adams: And so right on the site you can see some of the segments and some of the people uh that uh that I've helped as well.

Martha Adams: So I would love to be able to help more people with that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Oh, that I love love love that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So yes, if you're listening.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Oh, my gosh, do this like what I mean this is just it's?

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So easy.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Right.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: In um and like I think Josh has got the website running across here.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I he's probably trying to look up that right now to put it on the screen.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um so I.

Martha Adams: Love that also.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Martha is gonna be one of our women at our San Diego leading and power her.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: She talks happening on October eleventh.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So you guys need to get tickets to that last time we had two hundred fifty woman show up and we sold out.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So you can go to lead and power her dot com.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Click on that we also have um other locations starting to load.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So if you can't make it to San Diego, but you should because San Diego is awesome.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um especially all my Texas friends who are dying in heat, right now  [laughter] .

Martha Adams: [laughter] the.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Vacation.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um so I'm really excited that we're gonna get a chance to see that it looks like Josh is putting that up on the screen Ah we love producer, Josh he's.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So amazing he's.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Just making all the stuff happened.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um.

Martha Adams: And then finally just if.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: We could I mean obviously talk about.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So many amazing things that you've given US.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um on finances and I really really encourage you guys to get this book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um so I I opening easy Reed I'm actually implementing it into one of our business courses at the college um into our personal finance course that I'm working with Martha on.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So that students will actually really start to look at the e q of their finances.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So we're really excited about that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: But grab the book.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: It's amazing and I love it and how about one last tip to send everyone off today.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um if you can give to our listeners.

Martha Adams: I would love to do leave it.

Martha Adams: Okay.

Martha Adams: Before I do October first.

Martha Adams: She October first.

Martha Adams: First  yours.

Martha Adams: Oh.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: My gosh October first I don't, even I got you.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Thank you.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You have.

Martha Adams: Any  the morning or night.

Martha Adams: .

Martha Adams: This is why.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I need all my my my Lady friends here.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So all you guys watching, we all keep each other together.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So you know, when we're having that.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So see we got it we got  [laughter].

Martha Adams: You're [laughter] we love to uh to share a take away a for.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: For everyone.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So.

Martha Adams: Um.

Martha Adams: You know, when we.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Are.

Martha Adams: Talking about our emotions around money.

Martha Adams: Uh we're often quite.

Martha Adams: Depreciating of ourselves and so I'd love the opportunity to shift that together.

Martha Adams: And to do that I'd love to share with you.

Martha Adams: A phrase that I put together for a reason.

Martha Adams: I'll share that with you I'll share the phrase I'll share the reason.

Martha Adams: It is to give yourself.

Martha Adams: The Grace of understanding with the commitment to move forward.

Martha Adams: So now the reason I put this together is because it is an active statement, all the way through.

Martha Adams: It starts with a positive command.

Martha Adams: Give yourself right.

Martha Adams: Um now what are you giving yourself Grace.

Martha Adams: How do you feel when you hear the word Grace?

Martha Adams: The Grace of understanding now, because now your emotions are an asset the way you feel is an asset, because you're able to understand yourself, right in asking why.

Martha Adams: Now I'm not asking you here.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: To feel sorry for yourself or.

Martha Adams: Stay stuck in that.

Martha Adams: Because now here's the next part.

Martha Adams: I'm asking you to commit to yourself now. Are you committing what direction are you looking it's.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Where.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Forward look.

Martha Adams: Alright.

Martha Adams: So give yourself the Grace of understanding and take your power back with the commitment to move forward.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Well that is so powerful.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Thank you so much for sharing that and thank you for being on the show I'm, you guys are gonna see so much more for Martha she's, just doing amazing things.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I I call you the doctor Phillips finances [laughter]. So Ah, but better. Doctor [laughter] I'm biased Ah, but I wanna thank you for being on the show and we'll just be in the show like I always say live laugh love and always be your authentic self.