Ep 17: Getting Your Act Together
Getting Your Act Together Podcast Transcript
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Hi welcome to the authentically podcast I'm doctor Julie Ducharme and this is where we get to interview people around the world about the authentic things they're doing I love this because I get to meet new people, make new friends and get educated on something new and so today I'm really excited actually to have one of our she talkers here, Alejandra and we I'm just gonna read her bio here. She has amazing things going on. She’s known as the baller coach and she has over twenty years of experience in coaching training and development. she's considered one of the powerhouses of the coaching industry and she's worked with over two thousand coaching clients, trained over three thousand, coaches, guided options just Gail into multi six figure and seven figure businesses and is build a multi million dollar copy business which is delicious by the way I've had their copy with her husband Eric spanning southern California known for engaging in compelling style she's taking practical business expertise and married it to energetic spiritual science, giving her clients the model day magic that gets results without the BS, welcome to the show.
Alejandra: Thank you.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Oh my gosh I love and you know I mentioned, you were one of our she talkers and I love your story and of course your coffee is amazing I love the story of how your husband ended up doing that and of course we met for coffee and then I think I spilled coffee on myself 'cause it was so delicious like I was reading your book I was where I left wearing it and like I I was you want your pastries and I don't even know what it was, but it was like the best thing I've ever had like it was melting in my mouth and I was just like oh my God.
Alejandra: [laughter]. It’s so good
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Oh, my gosh, so I didn't mention all the can you mention the copy location.So we don't forget about this where people can find it in southern California.
Alejandra: Yeah. So we have one in little Italy of San Diego. All of them are in San Diego. So little Italy. Um then we have one in <unk> Beach there's two in <unk> US one in <unk> and one in Carl's bad.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: We just gotta get you guys in Colorado now.
Alejandra: So yeah, you know, so well it's it's.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Amazing lofty copy is amazing. And I hope you guys check it out. I'm all about supporting our small businesses of course it doesn't sound like you guys are small. Sounds like you're getting very big um but I love the story and and I'd love just you know what you guys are doing and so I know a little bit of your story, but not all of our listeners. Do have how you got into coaching. How this involved? So I would love for you to share with everyone a bit of your journey.
Alejandra: Thank you. Yeah. So I grew up in a household where Spanish was actually my first language and um there's a certain slang term that you really just can't translate into endless and there was this one that my mother used to say all the time and just bless my mom she's just a beautiful woman, but. She would say this slang term without thinking about how I might interpret it. Um and when I went to school I didn't know exists. So I was pretty young having to go through this translation. State of translating usually the English or Spanish Spanish English. And so there was this one significant day where I remember running home I Wanted to show her like a picture that I had drawn and I swung open the door and the moment I got into the house. She said this long term, which was is to be <unk> and if you were to translate it translates loosely into stupid pieces ship. [laughter] and it will schedule like you know, those defining moments where like you're never the same again. Yeah. Like I knew I was never gonna be the same again at that point. Um because I I've not only like internalized as though she was talking to me. Um but I started thinking about all the times I had heard that trace throughout my childhood and that all those times. She was talking to me and it really just led to this. Um truly feeling stupid and worthless I didn't. Learn to read until I was twelve years old. So I was like definitely afraid of speaking publicly or being any kind of a leader, cause I thought if I ever did people would know how stupid I was or you know, not good enough kind of thing and so it really like involved in my adult age into just some Syrian securities and lack of confidence and I was constantly facing block after block after block 'cause I Also at the same time had this calling this draw to like do something Grand and big, but I just continually stopped myself because of all of that upbringing and what I you know thought about myself and viewed myself as. And then it wasn't until um my very early twenties that I actually got introduced to life coaching. So I've been a coach for over twenty years um so getting into life coaching back then like nobody knew what life coaching was it was definitely like a God moments I didn't know at that point. But it was definitely a God moment. And another one of those turning points. Um and I I was so intrigued by what this life coaching thing was and how is it different than they're being canceling in And um it was through this company and I was talking to this Lady who was like Hey we're looking for a life coach. Are you interested [laughter] and I was like we what is life coaching and no I'm a mess [laughter] I what you're asking? Right now. [laughter]. Um but through that whole conversation it was really about the thing that was the sticker for me was you're gonna get to go through this life coaching program as your training. Um I was already business consulting at the time. So it also felt like a natural progression and I had just had my daughter and I was in this place of I wanted to get rid of that baggage. Yeah.Not just for myself, but really my daughter triggered a lot of that like I didn't want her to experience <unk> had throughout my life. Yeah It's So interesting that it was like you know what traditional therapy isn't working I don't wanna do medication. Sure, what's this life coaching let's do it.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um that's, you know, it's funny I I like that. You mentioned. Okay. You said I'm a mess what's, how can I be a life coach. Right. And and I have another friend who's a original <unk> psychologist and she always says like yeah, we we go into it, because like we need it the most as well. Um and it's. So interesting that you know, it attracts you of course you're amazing now. And you're killing it But something that you a couple things you said I want to point out. One that feeling of an inadequacy you know how that stuck with you that that resonates with me because I had someone say that to me someone who wasn't even a family member. Um but it was so powerful. And it stuck with me and was Someone that didn't even care. About me, but I held on to that like you did and felt that baggage and then when I had my daughter it was an Tiffany moment of like I don't want her to feel like this I can't behave like this because if I believe like this she's gonna take it with her I mean even to the point of not saying things like I, feel fat today because I didn't want her think that she was fat and so I really had this kind of moment of like Julia, you gotta get your act together To Like like you got a daughter and you want your daughter to feel like that So as you're saying this I'm just like yes, like it's resonating with me, because it's like God powerful and nobody I don't know if anyone ever talked to But no one talked To me about that No. One would ever. Talk about this stuff and I Think if someone had it could have really helped, you know, and. And canceling. Was kind of in my family like a bit of a taboo, you don't you know. To canceling <unk> broken.
Alejandra: You know So and like you said life coaches, weren't really super popular when I was younger. So that was a new As well Well, so you started. This life coaching program. How did this transform you? Oh my goodness. Okay. So it did a one eighty in my life [laughter], which is a lot of where my method of the one eighty method came from. Um I So I was a single mom at the time when I had my daughter um I mean so I'm at my now husband who just completely took on that role of dad and he's, just an incredible man.So he and I have the the multi million dollar copy companies. Let me tell you something you know, this you have to like not only love your your partner, but genuinely like this [laughter] work at a high level with You US you know a Business and still like again and still like each other So he's just phenomenal and the fact that like we still love each other and like each other is just so cool. And he completely became father to my daughter and um you know, more importantly, I was able to shed through healing. Not just stealing with things though through the healing I was able to shed those layers of baggage that I had been carrying for. So many years um and I really just stepped into utilizing my voice and sharing this message of healing and and being able to truly one eighty your life regardless of your background or upbringing or what's happened for you throughout your life. [laughter] Um And yeah I think to there's this like I speak all the time to like I before would no don't ever like the she talks. No I Never would have done that before. So that's another place that it transformed and getting to see people step into what you know, got what I say God has called them into is like huge.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. So you talked about a little bit about the one you're going one eighty and a one eighty method. Um and obviously I'm sure there's a lot more to it that we can't cover today. But maybe you can give US a few little tips of the one eighty method or or some suggestions about what that Is.
Alejandra: <unk>We do three sixty cycles. All the time. So [laughter] in traditional self help models. What typically ends up happening is you'll? Do a whole bunch of work and then end up kind of where you started, which is exactly what the three sixty is right. Um and and I see it all the time where again I'm gonna call it like more of that traditional self help helps for a short period of time and maybe you think changes happened, but then you found yourself right back again in another cycle or the same cycle. So it just keeps kind of cycle ng and you're, not really getting to that again that what I call the corps, healing it's just more of like dealing stuff dealing with things. Um with the one eighty is we're literally doing a directional shift a you're completely shifting into the right direction. Not just any direction. But the right direction. Um that has been paid for you. That you have been designed for its very purposeful, but in order to get to that place it has to be deeper than just um again more of these traditional type models. So the the one eighty method is designed for healing rather than dealing and it's for pillars. Um it's what I call the Golden key which is all about learning this how you are creating your circumstances, cause I often talk to people and asked like do you know, you're creating your circumstances and I get a lot of answers like yes, you know, and then when I asked okay. How um typically the responses are all about well I don't have control of what happens? But I have control of how I respond to what happens and yes, there's truth in that. But there's more to it than just the response because the way you respond to things is still coming from somewhere. Um uh then the second pillar is the healing formula and yeah, there's a formula to healing and the end result to healing just. I I don't know that we'll have time to get into it fully today. But the end result feeling is is typically what people don't think um it's kind of mind blowing what it actually ends up leading to when you have true, healing and then the third pillar is what I call the three sixty. Human pain Cycle. So really it's Identifying what the cycle is where it comes from. Why you have it, but more importantly, how to get out of it, which then leaves to the fourth pillar which is mastering life cycle and that's where you're just truly mastering your life and that <unk> part I like to hone in on 'cause it's, not that? You know, people who go through this program or like I'm never gonna have problems again and I I know how I create my circumstances now I'm never gonna create anything challenging. No, you know, we're human it's gonna happen. But and that's that being part of theirs up levels every time you feel you up level, you play full full out. More you engage more you fill your purpose more and when you do that it reveals another layer that needs healing, but I love about the one eighty method to is that it's you don't have to learn another tool for the healing at the new level you're at it's The same thing it's that you learned through.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: The method just A new level that's it. Yeah. I love that. Well and it kind of sounds like <unk> games like we're leveling up as my kids would tell me like. We'll that mom [laughter], but. That's powerful. And you know, I. Think today more than ever are mental health is being talked about more um yeah, you know, I was involved allot in sports and we're seeing a lot of mental health struggles with athletes that I've never been brought Before. That are now coming out and it's just more of a conversation about things which I think it's. So important I think we would have such. Better mental, health. If we could start having the difficult conversations that need to be had um and we talk about as you know, we I work with a lot of women veterans and they're very tough of course their stuff bad asses. Um but they don't they don't think they need help or want help. Right tnehat's. How they've been trained? Um and that's where we see a big downfall is that and and so. Hello you're talking about I love the the healing they talk about that there can be complete healing because I hear a lot of people say oh you're, never gonna be totally healed like it's, just always you know, I've heard that before um as I was reading on your side, you talk about the healing formula which says five steps to put an end to fear pain and out. Forever. That's a really powerful for however, way is the <unk> the movie where they're like for ever.
Alejandra: [laughter] I don't know what <unk>. They try to remember it for ever but that's, powerful to me, because Fear And Pain and doubt are really Powerful.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: I mean they can just absolutely control your life I mean just fear alone is a very powerful. Um should we call a emotion that that we deal with and obviously I don't want you to tell all your secrets here, because I'll look To you. Yeah.
But I'd. Love to talk about. This I mean because that's powerful me when I think about getting rid of fear and pain down like you said we're human, right. So even if we go through the process we're still gonna have that we're gonna have these moments, you know, when people are thinking about this, what are some of these formula is maybe that they can look at. Yeah.
Alejandra: So here's where the healing formula ends and why I'm saying like forever. Um. And let me say it in this way actually um what you don't own Owns you. And so true. Healing leads to ownership. Because when you can only all the early all the shameful all the pain. All the hardships there's. No more actual pain that comes from that I use the analogy if I have this I I don't know how to get in the camera. Anyhow Oh, there we go it's a cigarette burn from high school when a boyfriend decided to like put out his cigarette on my arm. Oh my gosh. And um when it happened it was a it was a big gaping Boone, right So it was super painful. Um if I you know, hit it or smacked it or poked it hurt really bad if someone else hit it smashed it or post it it hurt really bad. But through healing layer by later by layer using the right things to heal it it became a scar. So it's still there I can still show it to you I Can still tell you about it, but if I hit it smack it or poke it No pain. If somebody else hits it fax it or pokes it there's. No pain And so that's what the ownership is It's like you have these things that have happened in life that at the time were you know, wounds and have perhaps progress throughout your life and been wounded even more So but when you go through this healing formula and it ends through ownership it no longer owning you and There's No more pain from it [laughter].
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Well that that is a powerful analogy and so true as you're seeing as you're saying that I'm thinking about all my scars, you know, like my my physical and it's just the related I'm like yeah. You're you're. Right. Like it's there and I know it's there. But it doesn't hurt anymore Um so powerful. Gosh. OK that's. Why you guys need to go to her site [laughter] and you need to get hooked up with all this amazing stuff? Um one last thing I want to touch on tell me if I'm saying this right, you had soul setting and mine setting am I saying that.
Alejandra: Right Huh.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: And you talked about the whole person not just a part and I find that really interesting too because I do hear a lot of times we just need to work on This part Yahoo.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: So I'd love to know more about what is the whole person versus just the part.
Alejandra: In this Question Okay. So if I could break it down like this there's two parts to US as a human being <unk> there's the human and then there's the being that's. Why we're called human beings, right? [laughter], but within the human being there's like three layers or three components there's the spirit at the center of US there's the sole and then there's the body [laughter]. So oftentimes it's looked at as like body mind soul or body mind spirit. But the mind isn't like its own separate thing, the mind is a part of the social and the sole encompasses all of US. So the sole is our our minds are will our emotions are personalities are ambitions are believes are behaviors like anything and everything that we think of when we say like well this is who I am this is what makes up. Who I am that's all of the school? So when a lot of again I'll use that like traditional selfhelp models. Focus on mine set, but then we're forgetting and separating there's all these other components of the social that connect to the mind. So if you only work on the mind you're, not working on the whole person and so that's why you'll end up three sixteen. Having one <unk>. We gotta work on the whole soul sets rather than just mine that's.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. That's. You know. And it when I think about mindset you know, I played a lot of sports and they would talk to US about our mindset. Are you know how we're supposed to work on those things, but as as you mentioned the sole it kinda related to like my body right, like I, could work on my mind at all day long, but if I don't work on my skills that what my body has to do during that game then I'm not gonna be ready and and the same thing vice Versa I? Could practice all day long, but if I don't have the right mindset for the game I'm Not gonna perform the way. So from athletes perspective that really makes sense to me about going after the whole area and how important that is and you know thank you so much. This you know, I was saying when I talk with you amazing woman we could just talk to you for like three hours like I'm, just gonna lay on my <unk> OK, just just work on me. Just work on me. Um because what you're doing is So important and I really feel like these are conversations that need to be had and obviously you know, I focus a lot on woman I'm sure you work with both men and women um but I I think it's important for woman to find safe places like your business where they can really dive into these things and work on that whole part of their body you know to have that healing formula and that one eighty method. Um so as you come to <unk> I always love to ask my guess if you could go back to your younger self and give your younger self advice. What would you say? [laughter].
Alejandra: This is such a good question. Um you're, not wrong. Um powerful [laughter] I love think so much of especially woman. It I But that's.So much of like an incognito within US and to to speak the same language that that she speaks I may not necessarily say that to an adult per se, but you know, she's not gonna think and an higher way she's feels like I'm wrong I. Did something bad like that's. Typically how we look from your child's perspective and and for her to just get that message of like you're, not wrong like the there's What you did how you did it what you're experiencing what you said wrong <unk> I love?
Dr. Julie Ducharme: It I love it now is there anything coming up that you want. Our listens to know About before we go. I know, we've been posting your websites and all your socials. But anything new or exciting that you want US to keep an eye out for.
Alejandra: I'm always doing different speaking events and and things like that. So um there's some stuff coming up in March I am starting to write my book. [laughter] the one eighty method it's been I've I've had many people like when's the book coming out and I'm like it's coming just give me a moment. So it's finally in the works um it won't be coming out at least for another year 'cause it's, just literally getting started, but I did start. Um a YouTube channel where I share a lot of education to just support you with whatever you're out on your path. So you can visit me there at the baller coach and um yeah, I just I'm constantly on the go developing thing. So yeah.
Dr. Julie Ducharme: This is awesome. Amazing. Well make sure you guys checkout the website obviously if you're driving or listing right now you can come back and find all of those links that we put in there and also just a friendly reminder. We have our next leading and power her she talks coming up on March eleventh in Houston. So if you're in the neighborhood I know, Texas is huge people tell me like I'm six hours out. Um so if you're within a couple hour range I've been told by Texas is that a couple of hours is an acceptable driving um we love for you guys to stop by all our ticket sales go to sport woman veteran <unk> and we have another amazing line up. So you go to Rita power dot com to find that out. Thank you so much for coming on the show for those. You know, we've had to reschedule like five times because of our crazy insane schedules and we're like we're, just we gotta make <unk> and the final word is we're, just making it through February we're making it through February. You know, <unk>. So as I always say live love laugh and always be your authentic so.