Ep 05: Designing Your Genius Life

Designing Your Genius Life Podcast Transcript

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Hi welcome to authentically you this is a podcast where we talk to people are doing authentic things. All around the world and every week I get a chance to hang out with some of the coolest people around and I'm So excited today to have a million <unk> with me a she's, not only an amazing woman I met. Probably less than a year ago, but we have become fast friends and family entity is one of the most sought after human behaviors and conflict resolution experts in the world for more than twenty five years a million has dedicated her life to helping people and leaders through some of the most challenging and serious parts of their lives. A million is convinced your three steps away from turning them possible into the possible with actionable and miserable changes a Miller, welcome to the show.


Amilya: Hi [laughter], how are you [laughter]?


Dr. Julie Ducharme: I'm. So good.I wish you good with me.


Amilya: I'll  New York in California we're Just gonna close it.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: In the middle I know, we're gonna have to have to put something in the middle that we can both fly to for like our girl weekend.


Amilya: [laughter].


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Really thinking as I read this like impossible and you would say you know, turning the impossible impossible. Actual I was like I need some of that like. The last couple.Days I need some Of those [laughter]. In my life because We all do we all need that friend Like you can do it.


Amilya: I know, I know somehow I'm gonna Get you closer to me'cause we're gonna take a <unk> [laughter]. Oh, my way I Know, it's, so long. Someday I'll be like I'm sending the private jet. [laughter].


Dr. Julie Ducharme: <unk> [laughter].


Amilya: Oh, my gosh. Well, so for some Of our listeners of yours who don't know you and don't know some of your back story and I know there's there's you've had an incredible journey I love for you to share.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um a little bit of that journey and how you got into becoming this human behavior list because it's quite quite an Interesting story about how this all started for you.

Amilya: So I started. As a female CEO really early on I was I was young uh when I started my first company. Um and we brought green mainstream and we sold that company to Clorox and it grew quickly. Um I've had about. Fifty three thousand, employees across my entire career and At the time when I was going to company.

Amilya: I was like okay.

Amilya: How um how am I going to you know, motivate people attract people like how I gonna compete with these corporate Giants when there's just a little old me and so when I realized was I had to become a people expert I really had to understand what people wanted? Um and why would they come work for me. Burgess one of the other big companies and so I drove in really heavily to understand human behavior like what makes people want to do things. What is motivation which motivation is the reason to take action that's what really motive is really about and that's how I billed every one of my companies I really lean into what people want in the year? And now and. So when we had the the soap company you know We when the First companies that people brought their kids to work and we did home schooling and we had pets on the property and we did laundry we did grocery shopping, we did all the honey do's that our employees were doing um so that we could remove you know, any of the hard work. So that they were just amazing parents Um and husbands and wires when they were actually at home and so I started in becoming a people expert as I was going to companies for myself, but then as I started to go in and to really help other companies. Learn how to be in the people business because people are greatest asset what I realized was that business is we're really focusing on the stock holders. So we're really focusing on the top end and I was like well you know, without the people you don't have any you have a great idea, but you don't have people to implement it, you got nothing. And so I've spent the last decade, right in crisis management and in the people business that's. What I do better than anybody Else? 


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Um and I fully Agree. I mean your approach I think is why we we became fast friends is you and I both have this approach I'm not a behavior. Expert by any means we've definitely talk about how my emotional intelligence can always do some work. So that's why I have friends like you to help me. Talk me down, but um when I first started in my big role as a CEO I had two toddlers and I was very much told don't talk about your kids don't. Put pictures up about them. Don't have candy on your desk that's two feminine. You know if you wanna climb a ladder, your family can't be part of this option and that was a real struggle as a woman, because I'm thinking how in the world am I gonna balance this I mean I don't, even want me to acknowledge that I'm a woman and. Those days are gone. Are behind US if that's your attitude as a leader, you won't make it past as we come back from covid like more now than ever there's been a great shift in power. And this is What I try to explain to companies the power has shifted and now? You have got to adopt.

Amilya: You have to there's. No way around it anymore.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah, absolutely and that's one of the things we're gonna talk about is covid. Um because some of the status or saying oh, you know, woman. Aren't returning to. The the regular workforce, but woman are still working and there's this huge shift during covid for businesses for education for remote workers and I wanna talk about that from your perspective as a behavior.


Amilya: Well you know, everybody came to a screeching Hall. So we had an opportunity to really kind of examine life for a different perspective.I mean for most people up. Until covid, they. Basically we're going.From event event They really didn't even have time to breed and then all of a sudden we came to this great halt and then so we've learned a lot about ourselves. We learned things about our families. We really got an opportunity to see some things that we were missing people took this opportunity to really get back in to health and to better practices people were eating.I mean some at the Dinner table and they hadn't done that in years <unk> and they're like wait, a minute I'm trading my life for a paycheck and a lot of people. Right there was a something like four point eight million, people. Um it left the work force in March of this last year. Um and it's happening in in millions of people just going on done I don't know a company that's. Not hiring I don't know how every sign I see is for higher for higher higher because people started to say you know what. Everything is value. My time is valuable right money's valuable. You know, access resource is all the experiences. All these things are valuable and in So doing so they're looking for opportunities where they can actually integrate living actually having a life and also making a living right. So we can't stop making a living, but we can change how we make a living and we can change the relationships that we have with actually our employers.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah  Absolutely and I mean. So many people realize when covid happened that people could still work. Remote I Mean it was one of the biggest things, right before that <unk> and we had. A lot remote working I think prior to covid, but most of the traditional companies really <unk> they were Fighting it they were fighting it, but we've had you know the technology forever like zoom came into existence, not during covid <unk>.


Amilya: I mean we've had that forever companies refused to do it, but what happens was it was forced and what people realize was wait a minute now I can scale I. Can scale in ways I never could scale before because there's No need to actually have people underneath one roof. Now you still need masterminding, you still need you need systems you need a different way of doing business, but you can still do business remotely. You just have to change the operating system than anything else And more  But companies have to realize if they don't have a people operating System. To go underneath the technical planning their guessing.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: And so this leads me into your questions, my question about designing genius because designing genius is very much embedded with what you're talking about and I think you you started creating or really diving deep with this during covid if I Remember correctly. Let's talk about the Designing genius side of this, because I mean I got to take your assessment I got to I've been getting to see a lot of behind the scenes getting to work with you. So I'm getting to see all the brilliance of this and I'm really excited for the launch of the class and the book and everything that's coming out. So I wanna give our listeners viewers.You know a little teaser of what they can find through your designing genius


Amilya:  I Think The first thing that I really wanted to do is you know, part of my mission statement is to heal the unintended pain that happens because that pain we carry with US year over year over year Come pounds Actually And I wanted to heal the pain that was happening within our our. Work places within Our families within our communities, because we started to get such a rise in hate and was like wait a minute we gotta unlined US a little bit We have to have. A healthier way to actually connect, because belonging is one of the fundamentals for all humans I don't care who you are there's. An instant internal need to belong and the way that I started. This was helping people identify what is their genius. What is their identity? What makes them who they are and what is their own secret sauce, because the more that you understand what you do? Naturally better than anybody else who's actually trying to learn the scales and then apply that genius to all of the different ways that you can make an income, make make a career out of that people then get in power to make choices and not live by default and that was my my biggest um need or want was to fill this kind of hole that was inside of people that were in a lot of pain because they were taking jobs and doing things because they had to not that they actually felt any connection to so when we were looking at the fact that companies for the last twenty years I've had the same problem. How do they attract a top talent? How did they develop the talent? How do they retain the talent and then how do they reward the talent and there isn't a one size fit all and so what I wanted to do was star start with the actual we call them SMS subject matter experts? Right That expertise. That you are is your genius and how that genius plays a role in your identity and where you are which is your current thought state. Of the things that. You desire. What you desire is your reward system and that changes based on where you are in your life and so once an individual can go through it designing genius it crystallizes for you? Your five areas of focus five things that you have to pour into each and every single day it drops into your calendar, so that you can actually do that and what we know about repetition. Right inconsistency is if you do five things, five of the same things each and every day and those are your priorities it's impossible for it to not grow and move right. What happens is people are spread way too thin they have no idea? What's really important to them? They don't know how it goes together. Most people don't know how to create a system and because they don't have that they cannot then create what we call the rules. The games or should it should not so we put the system together.So that when people get to the end which takes them I don't know say three hours, right. They basically have their blueprint for where there is like right now and then they move through the blueprint they accomplished those goals. They start building that part of their life and then they repeat the process and then go through the next phase. So most people write would go through designing genius. The first time it'll probably be once a year then you'll notice it'll be twice a year I actually do it every quarter that's how fast I move. But you can't move fast, because if you can't to find in detail what you want, you can.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Have it you're guessing you're hoping it happens a good point I actually? Such. Um I heard someone talking the other day about how important definitions were and that you couldn't even have a conversation with someone unless you really defined what their perspective was of that subject Which makes so Much sense when you talk about it If we can't define where we're at and what we're thinking of how can we move forward.


Amilya: I wanna make more money. Well what does that mean people go I wanna be happy I wanna be what what do those things mean. They're too vague. So if you have the believe system that everything is energy and that you have this power to attract or repel, something. Well if you speak in generalities, nobody can help you nobody can help you the universe can help you. Nobody can help you. If you're, not specific to say I need somebody to make an introduction to Bob, because I wanna ask that's very specific, but if you just go I want more opportunity I just wanna I wanna make more money it's it's all over the place and there's No way to actually create the action steps in order to marry. That with a tactical. Planning  So designing genius help  Somebody create those very specific details. Not only for the planning part. Remember it's a behavior model. So it also shows you which one of your behaviors are in your way and what new behavior. Modifications you need to adopt in order to free yourself to move forward a lot of times part of the reason why people create a plan and then nothing ever happens. Is they don't understand how they're in their own way? So designing genius identifies your behavior that's in the way and then says well is it working or is it not working if it's working for you, then you have to change that goal if it's, not working for you keep the goal, but change the behavior, but something has to change in order for you to have that momentum.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. And you know as I'm listening to I'm just like this needs to be in every organization.Oh my God I'm thinking about my last twenty years and how we didn't address behavior, especially.


Amilya: It for the kids listen. We needed to college We need these are life skills, right.I'll refer to them. Is behaviors, but they're really life skills had to be able to process information. Do a knowledge, exchange make it applicable. If I, could speak right to apply that knowledge right. And to get where you wanna go so part one is understanding where you wanna go and then part two is how do I then do that and so kids are young people, right. You know everybody got a trophy. They didn't learn any life skills now.They're in college and they're like I don't know how to move the needle here I don't I don't know how to how to do that. So getting it into our young people and then getting into our remote work for so that people are empowered to Dr their own car, right. Because if you don't drive your car I promise, you somebody will drive it for you.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: [laughter] Yeah And just fine Jason I were just talking about that everyone gets a trophy like literally just last week and how it's affecting our use.


Amilya: It's huge it it's <unk> greatest lie, right. I mean people worry about you know, tooth ferries in Santa Claus. No the biggest Li you tell them is your the most beautiful you're the most talented you're, an athlete. Oh my God you're the superstar we feed our kids with this grandiose that they're amazing and remove the life skill that was there. Right. The tribal part of right rights of passage, where you go out and you try to do something and then you stuck and <unk>. Okay.It's all in my thing. And then you try something else and you stop and you're like okay. Cookie is not my thing and then you learn right through these rights of what you're good at. Well in development that's What we're supposed to be doing? But the fact that we fed everybody this lie that they're great and everything not only didn't learn the inner skills. They didn't learn the team the community skills to go listen you're better at this than I am let me toss the ball. So we we we went as a team we created. So much I that we don't have skills for week and then situations which is called life where you need a wee mentality that's. Why there's? No solo un success. We have generations of kids that are lost. They cannot figure out. What's wrong and we we've got them in a behavioral quorum to go? Well I don't wanna believe my parents lied to me. So I'll just believe that society hates me.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. Oh my God. You're preaching I'm. Just I'm like Hey man man And and it just you know, you know, I've I've played sports at a high level and so getting to play with on a team was probably one of the most humbling experiences ever when you talk about stocking at stuff. Oh, my God I've got a really long stuck list of like things that I'm horrible at.


Amilya: Right I Have such a list of what I stuck at So big, but that's what helps me it has me understand who I am. Yeah And so when you have young people that are hungry and they feel like they're failing at everything and it's it's it's becoming against the fact that they told we're told they're graded everything that's part of why we're having massive depression. Yeah  Because they're like oh my God I was so great yesterday. And now everything I touch socks. No it's. Not that anything stuck that they write their start starting to learn.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: What they're? Good at But they're instead of learning that eight nine and ten they're learning it nineteen twenty and twenty one That's The problem. That was another conversation. I was having with someone as they were talking about trying to adjust behavior later on with the you know, older twenty twenty one, twenty five was. So much more difficult than the youth when they were trying to adjust behave early on and. That that really leads me. To one of my other questions. 'cause as we talk about all this and all the questions was what do people Miss understand about behavior. So as we're talking about how we're kind of grooming our kids essentially say oh everyone went everyone gets a show of me it's all <unk> you're graded. Everything honey which this is where my logo emotional intelligence comes in. Right I'm, like the bad teacher where I'm like. No, you stuck at that. Like just own it because that's me right. Like I found my path because I was like I really stink. This and I think at this OK fine is it hard to swallow.Yeah Absolutely because no one wants to set something, but once you kind of come to terms with it's like okay Well there's something else  And I wouldn't. Get to that something else if I wasn't really bad at all the other things. So.


Amilya: Well I <unk> the success. Formula if you study highly successful people, they celebrate when they saw right, they celebrate the failures. This is this this is this craziness that we have in the Max market that's not true. The faster, you can identify what doesn't work. The closer you are to success. So highly successful people force failure every day every day, because it's giving you data. You're they're, not married, right. They they have a different relationship with the word failure. Right So for me I have.No emotion Tied to failure that just tells me I'm getting closer to what I actually want Right I.See the fall down.Get up as progress. Moving to me where I need to be, but when you talk about you know, your your your habits and your behaviors I think the biggest thing that I want to let people know is you are not your habits and your behaviors you're not those are choices there. Absolutely choices. So even though you think that you don't have control over changing your habits behavior, what I'm telling you is you absolutely do you have the free will to change it what your first part that you do through designing genius is to start identifying if you're, believe are yours or if there's, somebody else's and I'd like to give the analogy of Brussels sprouts If you've, never been served Brussels sprouts if you know nothing about them meaning nothing about actually tasting them many different ways, but your parents didn't like Brussels sprouts and they never for serve Brussels sprouts, you believe you don't like Brussels sprouts, but you have no real experience with it. So until you get out of your comfort zone and start to experience Brussels sprouts for yourself, you really don't know, but that's the same thing about what happens as we break away from the parenting role and we're supposed to start testing our own beliefs for ourselves some believes are gonna line up with what we were taught and some things are not so you are not your habits in your behaviors you can choose to change them at anytime.That's free will and then creating the Rep the repetition.So they get sticky and that becomes your new behavior.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Like I said I, just gotta fly you out here again. So you can just Reach to me reached me sister it's Fully agree on all this and and I'm a big person on habits, you know being a former athlete, we had to build a good habit. To we had to Be disciplined I mean they're just things you had to do.

Amilya: And it's. Possible to change bad habits, like I when I was playing college all I had to change a way that I had done something for a long time because my coach wanted that it was difficult, but once I changed it I was actually better just.


Amilya: Like new norm and that's with everything. You know, people tell me oh well I'm not a morning person.Well that's because you haven't started the habit to go to bed earlier. So if you go to bed late and then try to get up early. Yeah. That's gonna hard 'cause you're. Right in the system. Both ways. But if you change your night routine, then your morning routine becomes easier. Right and so it's about identifying those five areas of focus and then we help you build the behavioral tools around those five areas and then take it a step further on the standards that are now set for your environment, right. A lot of the times the reason why we crash and burn is not because we don't want to it's because we're relying on will power will power will not get you anywhere it is being able to put in the systems. The boundaries the guidelines the communication to say I'm, sorry that doesn't work for me. I am trying to go to bed earlier. So I, can get earlier because that's my commitment to myself and anybody who's go. No no no I want you to say, but then they're not respecting what you're trying to do for self and it gives you an idea that that person may not be the healthiest person that you have in your life and so that's part of designing genius it unwinds for you, what is really going on because it's very hard to be in your life and have the perspective of your life, cause many many times as we expire for other things we're moving away from people who want US routed where we are have to then decide are you more committed to growing to where you wanna go or to stay stagnant in where you are now. And so you. And those are just choices, both of them are perfectly fine, but you have to choose for you. Because if you let your environment your environment will choose what's best for them Um God.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: That's So seriously, like we need to go to Church.Like I, feel And When you get a choir and some you know?Hello. Yes Uh.


Amilya: Since I was thinking I don't know talent, food, and a glass of wine, but we can go to Church with we.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Do it all let's go to Church with some study and <unk>? Yeah Well all of this you're talking about leads me to. US in our she talks torque, because.


Amilya: Yes, absolutely excited about.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: This we met a thankfully Stephen drug. You to Texas on a crazy like <unk>. All over the nation and then made In because they did. They mess for site, but we met and that's how we um met became friends we're just like oh my gosh, like we gotta work together. Um so now I have a million officially coming to our lead in power. She talks in San Diego on October first. And so other. Really things that you're doing and I'm getting to be a part of it in the background is. You've got a. Course that's Um already out that is college credited So any of your listing like Hey I need some professional development I need college credit and I also need to find what my genius is This is the perfect class for this. Um you also have a book coming out as well. Which pairs with the course. And I'd like you to give US a mean obviously don't give all the secrets away 'cause, they need to buy the course in the book. Um but we're we want people to go through this before they come to she talks. So they get a chance to kind of decode with you about what they've learned.


Amilya: Really.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: So the class in the book.


Amilya: Let's talk about. So what I wanted to do is as people went through each chapter of the book is each chapter ends with a behavioral a reflection to really drive home. What your thought state is? So there isn't really any way to get through each chapter without really taking a deeper look at self and that was done deliberately. So that you actually get your own insight. So you can make some real choices every part Of the book is. Actually walking, you through how to actually build your own life plan if you would like further assistance, then the course is available right to walk you through with everything I mean we've, got videos and we have experts and we've. Got the workbook and we actually have all of the different models. We really make it as easy as possible for you to actually go through the course itself. Some people like the book to do it on their own other people actually want the mentor. Ship health and then the. Help and then the best part is if you come to the San Diego event, then you actually can sit with me. Hopefully you'll bring your workbook with you and we can actually dial in more specifically on what you do now to achieve your first second or third milestones right and so our genius trainers myself included. Um are all here to help you get to where you want faster and more impact Lee So that you live what we call a genius living living by life by your design.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah, this is so exciting and you know, our mission at <unk> power. She talks one of our missions is obviously to empower woman, but to also give them the tools to be successful and I've had so many woman coming out of code it's saying I'm in the middle of a life transition. I don't know what I'm doing. Whether it be that they're having a divorce or changing a job there could have just gone off to college, but many many women are telling me I'm in this transition. I just don't know I don't know where I'm <unk> do <unk> and That's a mini crisis Right. The world.


Amilya: Can get really noisy and you just don't know what the next. Right. Move is and that's. Why some of the greatest thinkers? Right allows you to take all that information and narrow it down to what are the things I. Absolutely need to focus on first and then how do I implement them Not just understand what the headline is of what I need to focus on what are the actual details we call in the ingredients that I need in order To make this come to Life and that's what a lot of people are missing. Right through they have an idea of what they want, but they can't really clarify it in details they need somebody to kind of walk them through that and once they understand what they do want. They don't understand how to quite the noise. What do I say? No to and what do I say Yes, to and so that's why the course is there to really spoon feed, you So that when you get to the end, you literally got workbook becomes your calendar that is the things that you do each and every day and you can do that if you still are working and a job, maybe that you would like to upgrade that job, right. Or if you're out seeking a job or if you're trying to re Bam your whole show and you actually want to become an s M a or a ten.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Ninety nine employees Yeah, absolutely. So for those of you are listening or watching a we have all the links that are running across the screen there'll be of course uh down in the comment section as well where you can find the class, you can <unk>. For fun people gonna have. A share tribute concert band there.I mean that doesn't. Get <unk> it's in. This Lady's amazing this Lady's name, she's donating her time, because she loves loves what we're doing and she's got a head dress ladies I was like you just need to bring the headdress. So we can take a picture with you in the giant.


Amilya: Yeah.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: And I believe there's gonna be lots of like pink cupcakes in <unk> the bars and chocolate just because I really wanna just have chocolate available. The <unk> all day long.


Amilya: My middle name.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: So it's it's gonna be so much fun. This is I believe we've hit eight States with this over five years. Um we've been able to run you know, hundreds and hundreds of woman through the not only our programs. She talks, but we've also help a ton of woman veterans cause all the ticket sales go <unk> woman veterans. Uh in our combat boots to heels program we even have a civilian program called slippers to stylus. And So this is all things that we do because we wanna get back back and it's just such a cool network to be in it really is I mean you. Filter out. The crazies really fast [laughter] I was saying you know if you wanna come in and you wanna be someone who wants to be a cheerleader and help other people and vice Versa.This is where you wanna be because your network is gonna grow it's gonna be huge and you're gonna be sewn powered.


Amilya: Number for the veterans there's. This is the sad thing about our veterans. We love. So much is once they come out of military life. There Isn't a transition into civilian life there. Isn't that like class? That goes Okay Right. This is how you transfer your knowledge and you transfer your skills and that is you know, one of the things that I'm So excited about is to be able to work with veterans because to be able to show them that what they already know how to do that is already available for them in the work in the workplace it's the same thing that we do with our athletes, you know, the athletes come out of you know, Frank playing professional ball and they're like how am I gonna get a job. They don't understand that this position that you played actually is right operations or it's, right and so that's what You know, part of <unk> designing. Genius is to help people transfer their knowledge into their next life carrier.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: And and and not to be funny, but this is genius. Um but I love it and we we have some woman I hope they can attend a one of our woman who's done. Our program is now a part owner of a winery which is amazing. Because Veterans Always told go Work for the government, go work for the government and that's, not that was not her genius. Um another one of our woman wanted to be full time artist, everyone said we never make money as an artist. She's a full time artist, making a lot of money we have another woman who owns a branch now and she has a lot of <unk>. And so what I love about. All this and and your program is just gonna enhance this is you're gonna be able to help these woman both civilian and veterans understand they're worth and they're genius and where they can plug it in. Which is so crucial Today and everything we're doing and so I'm So excited for this. Um so once again guys if you are wanting to a pre order a million book I'm not sure we have a date for when it's coming out yet, but we can pre order it right And the classes right. The to go Um and like I said you can get college credit for that and then of course if you wanna get tickets to our event lead in power her dotcom it's gonna be October a first and as a super cool location called Tim X A a really Awesome girl her name is Jesse. Um and so she's gonna be part of our event too. So it's Super posh very very. Fun and Um we aware.


Amilya: Oh, my God I gotta start looking for dress now.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: I know and then we got the shared room. like I I may have to change three times. Well your.


Amilya: Are you getting for sure? 


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Absolutely Change a couple of times the shoes that are gonna come just to see all the shoes I know. I know, I'm thinking of all my shoes, right now and the new ones I need to buy like right now. [laughter]. So It's being used. So much for being on the show. Um it's always amazing and like I said we met through she talks, which you're gonna be my social sister and lifetime friend.


Amilya: Me lose forever and we're building each other.


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Up I mean So many things you shared with me are helpful and I've been able to give you some of my genius and help with your areas and so this.


Amilya: Is what it's all about ladies <unk> next year I Just feel smarter [laughter].


Dr. Julie Ducharme: Oh, my gosh, you're So funny I love I love You all right. Well as I always say live love laugh and always be your authentic so.