Ep 12: Hard Work, Race Harder

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Hi welcome to the authentically, you podcast I'm doctor Julie another episode and if you're listening for the first time we get to interview people around the world who are doing authentic things and I'm really excited today to have with US Carol Carol is the first generation child born in the United States with immigrant parent from Sean. <unk> back for She grew up experiencing freedom American culture along with deep routed traditions of Chinese culture. Speaking both. English and Taiwanese and was both pressed Sharon and Buddhist being a female in her culture and a child of the U s with all its privileges Carol was caught a mid the clashing of two cultures and had to learn how to accept and integrate them both into her life and why did she do that with starting and twenty twelve. She started the moto Vic vixens a motorcycle track date organization. It was a mission to be inclusive regardless of gender and race and religion and without discrimination of the types of bikes. All riders They ride we'll talk more about that I didn't even know there was like a bike discrimination here. Oh motor vixens also focuses on education Safety community. Camaraderie and insuring the preservation of the sport and champion woman and motorcycle ng and other industries. She Is also. A model on actresses Stedman an author attack speaker. A voiceover actor racer and has some signature line of products and reality show coast of the time. Evolution podcast And we'll dive into those as well, but welcome to the show [laughter]. Thanks for having me [laughter]. Well we've gotten a chance to talk a little bit obviously on the Titan show, an offline and I've got to listen to your story. Um a couple times and I know there's. So much to it Um but you have really become a champion for woman in a lot of different areas which really excites me because when I think about empowering woman you know, have I thought about motorcycles and stop woman yet. [laughter] haven't. Yeah And Not far yet [laughter].And uh you've done. This like later in life. This wasn't like when you were like eighteen years old like you did this after you've had kids and family. So I. I know we don't have time to do the entire back story, but I'd love for you to give some of the back story to our listeners of like wait, hold on like you were a Baptist and a Buddhist and but you were a mom and now you're running motorcycles and you know, you've got this whole motor vixens club and so I'd love for them to hear how this a fault.

Carol: It actually happened after a my divorce and I had two teenage boys and I was sitting there thinking oh my God, what am I gonna do. Right, but I think I surprised everybody and like I said you know, we we said this before the podcast started. Everybody thought that I lost my mind and I was having a mid life crisis and I think if anything it was in awakening because that that so called crisis, they thought I was having was I had always played by the rules. All these years I was the good daughter I Did what I was told you know, I was a good mom. Good wife, you know. So when I had the opportunity to you know, kind of break loose of all of that. It was like. Well I'm still lost I mean I'm still back where I started when I was you know, nineteen twenty years old, so I'm now in my my forties I'm not gonna say how old in my forties at that time. But you know, I was just like okay. So if I'm gonna still be here. I'm gonna do something different I mean clearly it's, not letting me down a path I want So I had written a bucket list along time ago And I was just like. I've always wanted ride motorcycles I'm gonna write a motorcycle terrified absolutely terrified of it and fell in love with it I don't know. Who Maybe it was The Being on the edge All the time that made you feel. So much more alive and there was a sense of freedom and piece that came with that. And Next thing I know.You know, I I got really immersed in that community and I saw how few woman there were and it kind of blew me away and I was like wait, wait a second am I like one of like literally a handful of girls that ride motorcycles and and back then over ten years ago. I was And I was also Probably one of three or four. Girls woman emails that were either racing or instructing and I can't tell you how many times I felt so don't know like a discouraged when one of the guys would get assigned to me right 'cause they'll be like shit I? I Got the girl you know, I got the girl instructor. And When he couldn't keep up with me it was fantastic because then he started to realize oh it's, not about that she's a female, you know, it's in their head? We're. Either not as fast or not as good there's, just this misconception or maybe a stereo type I don't know, but um I got really fast. And and I decide. To you know, start racing, so Even in racing there wasn't very many females. So there was this gap and I just felt like if if I can do this and I can start an organization that other woman would follow and through the years I mean in ten years I think. The the numbers. Of just a handful now R I a dozen. Or more at every track day. So it's it's phenomenal it's grown significantly. Um.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I love that. And you know, I think what I really love about when we are women in mail dominate environment is that they under estimate US and that sometimes is a good thing because you know, it's like I said it's kind of fun to be like oh really. You. Think you think I can't. Handle this Okay. Watch this you know a so I find that fun I found that a lot of times when I was playing sports with guys like Oh great. Here's a girl you know, and then they had a book. Let me really. Hard and I did them and call them a girl and then they'd be like okay. Well maybe you can hold your own. Um. And I think this is culturally, you know, I mean now let me just say I don't mind a big strong guy. Any day of the week like I don't come on over I don't mind that at all. But you know, having the ability to open the door in other places like this, you know, motorcycle racing. Um you know when I think about you doing stuff and I was on your website and I was seeing like all these shows you've been on I'm like okay Wait was that her on the motorcycle and you know, this shows 'cause I was looking at like nine one one we watch that show a wait is it nine one and then um Swartz and some other ones and I was like wait was that her on the motorcycle like what episode was that, and I just love that that you one, you didn't let agent in at that time your like your age stop, you and that's, not you weren't old by any means, but you know what I mean, like I like you, but

Carol: It's just perspective Right. Because like other people's perspective I'm old.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: You know at forty something. Years old to be starting, you know, something completely new and become an entrepreneur number one, right on top of that. And then. Do all the stuff I was doing in my fourty nine, my twenties, but in my forties yeah, people thought I pretty much lost my mind. I love that I I and I had moments of that too when I was transitioning to different things in my life I thought to myself. Maybe I'm having a mid life crisis, like you know, because like You culturally I You know, got married had kids good wife, good mom. Um and I'm Still a good good mom. But it was one of those things that like for example people say to me when I when I move into these big positions, how does your husband feel about you working, such a big position and I'd be like but he doesn't mind the money you know. And they said like well how do you feel about someone else raising your children and you're not being home to do it and I'm like there Isn't anyone else raising my children just because they have a babysitter doesn't mean that they're raising and I would get these questions and you'd feel what. I call kind of that Guild. Right, like yeah. Oh gosh. Well maybe I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be, you know, and so when I was doing that transition there was a lot of naysayers and it wasn't my husband my husband was fantastic it's OK, you wanna go make more money. You wanna do that I don't care. Like they'll. Have fun. [laughter]. You know, I mean those those are the best guys were like oh, you make a lot of money you have you seen. Ellie Wong's account, comedy show about that Oh, my Gosh I haven't, but I need To okay Watch it I'm Not gonna discuss where all the podcast about it people that wanna watch it watch it, but she talks about being the breadwinner of the family and it's pretty funny. Yeah. And and you know, I just look at this stuff and I think to myself too and you know how did I get that coverage later. In life, right. I took a lot of very calculated risk when I was younger like okay. Is what I need to do this is safe. This will as and you talk about this in your Ted talk and also on your website you know about wanting your family to be proud and you don't want them to be disappointed and and I definitely can relate to that. Even though obviously different cultures, um I had that same thing too it was very important that my family is proud of me and that you know, I did the right thing you know, and it it was just a cultural thing it was just part of the cultural normal growing up and so when I did get to that point in my life of like you know, writing my first book that was really raw and authentic and honest it was kind of like. From we're from. I don't know if I want them to read this [laughter] like it was like [laughter] like but I gotta write it because I I've gotta write it for other woman and I feel like that's. Where you were at? Um you know, when you moved into this.

Carol: Well my mom had passed away when I was much younger right. So and and she was really the only person that I really cared about you know, her pinion, right. And and in our culture it's Everything is based around honoring the family. So everything you said everything you did I mean the disapproving looks you would get if you dressed in appropriately and anyway and their id of inappropriate was just showing skit in anyway, right. And I grew up in California I was born in LOS Angeles would you expect you know, we're on like bikinis and tank tops and Cam souls and you know I mean we're young so it's, you don't even think about it, right. But it was just everything was about honoring the family And they wanted me. In a profession and it's kind of a stereotype, but you know, everybody in the Chinese culture it's either doctor lawyer write your child's either a doctor a lawyer and then everybody goes. Oh, my God and That's why I stated. To be a doctor I mean it took four years of Latin in in high. School did Language, right. But why did I do it because. Of med school. It helps right. Because of the the route the route language. Yeah And It it's So strange when your parent who's the one that's your driving force to you know being a profession that you're you wanna be in, but Not really sure. You you really just. Want acceptance and approval from them that's just a that's basic human nature. Everybody wants to be accepted and you know, have that feeling of approval? But. When she passed away I was just kind of like yeah, you know what? This is really not my dream. <unk> so yeah, the people that mattered in my life we're, no longer there Right. And my brother's younger than me. So really it I was the one that always set the example for him and he got to do whatever he wanted and here with me my whole life, you know being the perfect daughter I, just decided. Okay. Well at this point nobody. Around. Me you know in my family is is here to be disapproving. So let me just go do something I want to do. And that's what happened and it turned out to be truthfully in awakening No. And. It wasn't. Some like people always asked like okay. So how did you get into that? Why did you get into that I don't? Have a why I got into it I just. It was almost instinctual.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: I really want to do. This who knew I was gonna be you know become so passionate about it and want to make a business out of It Yeah. Well and and I read in here that you you're <unk> the motor victims that you start partnering with some really. Big groups as well. What were some of those? Groups that you partnered. With. You mean um like other organizations and and coaches and yeah. Yeah. <unk> I as it's grown you know.

Carol: Over the yeah, we work with all different types of renowned coaches. You know. Um that that I've been great racers. Oh Jason primer. Um is is one and his dad was a Reggie pretty more and he was a oh gosh I'm gonna say this wrong I think he was a British super by chap. So you know, he has he has. The legacy the Lineage I don't know. He has. He inherited all those talents he's, an incredible writer. Um I also got paired up with warmer a which is a Washington road racing. <unk> Washington motorcycle road racing. Association And so we  Do all kinds of things with different groups through the years and now for US. We We've decided to step away from you know, everybody and do things on our own because it's it's really hard to take everybody's ideas and incorporate them and it's not that we think ours is better or you know, I I think our culture is what stands out in our in our group.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. I think that's amazing. And I want to touch a little bit on how.

participantTwo: Did you get into? A acting I I. See you have films and television that you've been on here. And I'm, just curious, you I know, you're doing motorcycles I know you also wanted to shoot guns and shooting guns how did acting get pulled into this whole world. That you're working in. Uh.

Carol: It happened it it's funny what happens in your life when you start to open yourself up, you know, and we talked about risk right and safety and risk in that Ted talk. And I had always believed that I should always take the safer route. The safe route was gonna be the. The Route that would lead me to um a great life. But I realized that wasn't the route and so taking the chance was what allowed the world to open up. To me because.Then I saw things from a different perspective and then instead of feeling like I was in a box which I always felt like I was in a box. The world was I, just full. Of possibilities. I I couldn't, even believe all the things that were kind of coming to me it was bizarre. So I never said no I, just said. Okay. And just kinda went with. It and that's just how like I you know, I love How like casual are about that really?

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. I Just like I just said yeah. And then I was acting like most people would be in my paying like hyper ventilating like what I'll you know, and I love your openness of just like let's let's Do it and I relate to that? Because people would offer me stuff a lot of times I'd be like have a book on it like can I read how to do it and maybe like yeah. I'd be like okay. I'm in you know, and I had it for any one time I. Could never do that like that would be terrifying to me and I'm like well worst thing that happens it doesn't work, but not the thing that happens. If you fail. So what. Yeah. Right. I'm. Not afraid. Of failure And I Think that's the key thing though. Right. Is that we have to get? To this point in our lives when I was young failure was a big deal for me. What people thought of me was a big deal, you know, we talked about this impostor syndrome? We talk about wanting to impress everyone like this is culturally what we're expected. Right We have to look a certain way we have to act a certain way and that was definitely huge part of that. You know, when I hit that point in my life where I was like okay. This is exhausting I can't Do this anymore? This isn't me right. Wasn't.

Carol: Authentically. You right.  Yeah Well.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: <unk> and I've Never thinking to myself, right We get our identity tied up in things, right So my identity was tied up in this job and I was like okay. So the job goes away who am I like what do I wanna do and and I was part of me was frustrated. I was like forty something years old and my life and going like what I wanna do with my like wait I thought I knew I wanted to do with my life and it was only like but this isn't me I hate this You know, and I Think. A lot of women have this is Tiffany because culturally we follow the path that's expected of US and for someone that's great that works for you. You know, but for other woman it's like I, can still be a mom and a wife and still also be a bad ass like that's like I Can still do that like like it's it I feel like they think it has to be separate like either you can have this or this But you can't have both and I'm like I Can have both and it. Was that moment of? Kind of like you said in awakening of going like wait, wait I don't have to give a up this to have this like why can't I have both you know, and failure now is really the best you know, I'm always like let's, just fail fail and get it done. So we can move on to figure out. How to do it? Right. Yeah, you know, <unk> you know, but I look at my fourteen year old daughter and God bless her she's in eighth grade. Worst time of my life I could remember worst time of my life seventh and eighth grade where the worst time like I'm forty five now and I think about seven eighth grade and I still go like <unk> [laughter] eighth grade, right and and this that's that time where like I feel for young woman The There. So unsure about themselves. They're, so worried there they're trying to figure out. You know and I <unk> like don't worry about it who cares about that, but they do you know and now I'm I'm like you know, I I'm, still glad I'm at a point that I'm like I don't care if you don't like me I don't care [laughter], you know if you know if you like what I do I don't care. You know. And and there's some freedom in that you know, um I'm, just saying like this is who I want to be. And if you don't like it fine, you don't have to come along and I love that I love that you're just like yet acting happened to happen in my life and you know there it is I've started running much because I also I love to shoot done. So I have to ask. So how Did you I mean when you're thinking about getting into guns same thing? Did you run into these stigmas where you're like I'm just gonna go learn GANs like how did you integrate that in? Did you?

Carol: Know the reason I went to go to learn to shoot was I was a single mother and I had two children and I'm like I'm, not gonna be afraid and not be able to protect my base right. Even though they were teenagers aren't really babies. They were even taller than me. So whatever But they're still my babies, right So that's why I went to do it and I didn't know, I would like it. So much for seek it was awesome. Right But. It's a little. Bit oh, my God this I'm gonna say this and everybody's gonna hate me for saying this. But I'm still gonna say it 'cause like you said you reach a point where you don't care. Um. It's a lot like the motorcycle world when they see a female that comes into that realm or that area or whatever. Right Whether it's motorcycle, whether it's shooting guns everybody wants to give you advice and teach you how <unk> as if I'm, not capable, right. [laughter], but it's the same thing with guns I I love that it took such intense focus I, love that it requires a certain finesse, you know, and people think of gallons and they just think it's just shooting, but there really is a finesse like. You when You pull the trigger on the exhale there is a smooth Janice. Right. And yeah, the gun jerks, a little bit. But typically if you're just nice and smooth it hits the target everytime you know, and there was just something really cool about that Same thing with motorcycles I mean the two were pretty much online, which is why I you know, ended up gravitating towards both of them, but most people that road ride motorcycles I don't know if you know, this also shoot cuts. And that's part of A training thing, we did at like Uh the Texas Tornado boot camp <unk> that it's calling Edwards bootcamp, we would spend the day like in the morning writing a flat tracking I should say and then we would stop shoot guns.

Dr. Julie Ducharme:  Yes. And then we get. Back and write again and it was like it was crazy it was like the best of both worlds there's just. No way that you know.

Carol: He had the perfect formula.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Oh, my gosh. You're you're like my people saw.

Carol: Right. Like we need to.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Spend more time together. This is my people well I got into shooting compound both and same thing is that a friend showed me and it was so and so powerful and like you said it took so much precision and it was just I loved it I love it and it got really good at it and um I love doing.

Carol: Awesome. Anything you're not really good at if you put your mind to.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah, like there's I'm. So bad at making an omelet like if I Could just go like. Gordon Ramsey to come on and yell at me a little bit like it's, not how you make an omelet. Um you know, just this I need a little help on that. But um but I love that you know, and there is there's just some freedom in that I I feel like there's, just freedom.<unk> people. Yeah, to Have the the power? To and I don't say not to be depending on anyone 'cause I have wonderful people that I depend on my life, but I think I wanted that freedom and power to know that I could do it on my own you know, because my grandmother God bless her my grandfather passed way. Um you know uh when we were young kids and she would say listen you've. Gotta find something for you. Because you're not always gonna have a husband to take care of you and she would always say that to me all the time and it really stuck with me and and I remember going to school and thinking about like what can I do that if I didn't have anyone else. I could still exist. You know, and and that's where that whole identity thing came in of like you know, my identity now isn't in my husband or in my kids they are part of my life 'cause they're. So important to me, but they're not my identity, because I don't need them to be my identity and so you know, and that's where I find a lot of women, get wrapped up and so there's a couple other questions. I'm gonna ask you as we come to the end of this So one is obviously we talk there's a lot of women who are going through this phase in life I have girlfriends are in the midst of divorce a their kids gone off to college and they're suddenly like I have no purpose. What do I do with my life now you know, just this these transitions in life? So what is some advice that you would give to women who are facing these crossroads like you did of like. Well. Where do I go?

Carol: I don't know, everybody's situation is different. Um for me it was just following my heart you know, and my heart was you know what I don't wanna live. The same life again for the next twenty years. So open yourself up to see what you might you know, be interested in because you never know. One of those interest. May end up you know, sending you down the rabbit hole and you end up becoming an entrepreneur later in life. Also very successful who knows. Right. The the options are endless, but just you know, I think you just fall into it when when everything is right, everything just <unk> freely happens and flows to you [laughter].

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. And I like that being open. Sometimes we can be really stubborn and be really Closed. About things. Or scared. Yeah Never.

Carol: Let fear you know. Um reason you don't do something because I was definitely afraid of motorcycles. Be the. But I still went and did it I'm still afraid of my motorcycle every so often I'm like I Talked to it I'm like don't kill me today.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Please. [laughter] and you're you're Right.

Carol: Fear Is so powerful.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: And um I think about things I. Do all the time that I'm absolutely terrified to do. And I'm talking to myself on the way to that going like Julie, you can do this you're gonna be fine. You know, I mean I don't know. Well you know as they say like you're crazy, you talked yourself I Talked to myself, sometimes I gotta talk myself right into that situation. Be like you got this go in do it you know. Um so I agree with that, the fear like we said the worst thing that happens is you.

Carol: Feel. You know, and I don't think that's the end of the world I mean that's how we build character.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah Um and my last question to you is if you could go back to your younger self and tell your younger self something or give your younger self advice, what would you say to them?

Carol: Can I curse Sure.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: [laughter] <unk>.This is this is actually. In my book. A zero ships. Give zero ships if I, could tell my younger self anything stop giving a shit. Because. You worry.

Carol: About what people think of you you worry about, you know whether you're gonna make enough money if you're gonna whatever all those worries, our things you can't control at that moment. And other people's opinion of you who cares you know, and as you know, you and I both know uh Dan. He tells me. A story over and over again about Tony Robbins. If you don't got heaters, then you're not doing anything.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. It's such good advice and it's. So true and and I wish I could have told my younger self that it used to bother me. So much when someone didn't like me I mean I lost sleep over it. Did I look. Back in now. I think They were just insecure. They just you know, they were taking out on me. Something that had nothing to do with me it was their life and and and I'm thankful that I can give that advice to younger woman you know, I mean I look at our youth and I Think kind of if if you and I can take our experiences and help these young woman to give them that advice that we wish we could have given ourself. Right Like who cares. Who's thinking cares? Right. Um and move them along. So they don't Have to deal with half. That stuff and I Think what can I have done if I've known that at twenty.

Carol: Right. Oh God, where I'll Be in my life. How much? So much further ahead. But we didn't and it was also and You have to remember to It was a different time I mean When. I was growing up it was a different time altogether. A you know, so things were. Very different. And I wish I had known. So much more than.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Yeah. Absolutely. So before we go I wanna make sure that anyone who wants to get a hold of you find you follow you can do that. So what is the best way for someone to find you is it social media? Your website where.

Carol: Should they go?Oh, my gosh. Uh probably if if it's one place Carol Carpenter media dot com and it just lists everything and there's, an inquiry button and it'll send me an email and I'll reach out. I'll reach back out. My Phone number is actually. On there too. So they're gonna literally text me or call me you're.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: So bold. Oh, my gosh. [laughter] I Guess that's weird text. Well [laughter] and I know your speaker obviously you do all these amazing things. And Um also um as were you know, do you still do it's, not driving are you still in films or you more just <unk>? So off and. On is there anything coming up for you. That we can keep a lookout for. Oh.

Carol: Well I I, you know, we we started doing the Titan evolution podcasts. Last year and then me and Travis Johnson and then uh I have iron dog media as well then something. And About a reality show or something I saw on.Your website upcoming yep.

Dr. Julie Ducharme: Oh <unk>. Okay. So what does that have a title like when do we know when we should look for that? Not yet. Okay. Not yet Yeah, we just gotta keep checking. Yeah. And then also an executive producer for a film that's upcoming also. So. Oh my goodness.Okay So we're just gonna have to like keep we're just gonna have <unk> in your stuff. So everyone needs keep visiting it and last thing, what is the title of your book and best place to find? It oh uh. The elegant. Disrupted or and it's on Amazon. Okay. Awesome. And if you're listening, right now and you're driving don't worry we'll put all these links in here. So you can go back and check on them later. Thank you so much for being on the show and being so honest and transparent as I always say live love laugh and always be your authentic self.